Can dreams reveal our true potential as human beings?

“I’ll never forget that night when a curious dream seemed to reveal latent abilities that were still asleep in me but may be awakened if I wanted to. I found myself in a dark room, alone. There was a door in a corner, and I could clearly see the light behind it, but since the door was closed, I couldn’t reach it. So my inner voice ( in the dream ) told me to say the magic words three times: Open door ! Open door! Open door! And the dor opened.

I was quite surprised (and terrified) to see how much power I had that I stepped back and remained silent for a few minutes in the dark… then I felt the need to know if what the dream showed me could be true and asked my inner voice ( still in the dream) to confirm if that was real or just an illusion created from my mind.

I saw myself with more perspective this time, in the middle of the dark room, with the closed door in front of me waiting for the magic spell.

Still a bit afraid, I said the magic words three more times: Open door! Open door! Open door!

And the door opened again, letting me reach the light.

A few seconds later I was awakened ( from my dream) by my phone…still wondering if that could be true someday.”


Why I never felt normal:

I was born In Barcelona, Spain, in 1988. My father was french, from Paris, with english roots and my mother is catalan with swiss roots, so I was able to speak three languages at the same time at age two.I started going to a french kindergarten in Barcelona that felt like paradise. I felt free and able to experiment with shapes, colors, textures..and I was able to emprove my creativity without being under pressure or under any judgment. Then I pursued the rest of my education in a very strict french school that was so big that I often found myself lost even to go to the toilet.It felt like a prison. One day,at age 6, I told my mom I didn’t want to listen to the teacher because there would be no space left in my brain for ” the important things ” . I wasn’t a good student, I was a dreamer and suffered a lot by being forced to learn the things they wanted me to learn , the way they wanted. That place didn’t feel natural. It was, to me, a place where frustrated people were absorbing the inner true wisdom which every child was born with, with their agressive authority. We were all frightened by them: the vampire-like teachers that were sucking our freshness, our joy, our dreams and our authenticity.I wasn’t able to think or to “be ” anymore, I was only able to “obey” as if I was a Robot.

I remember that day when I saw a snake in the toilet…I could hear the sound and see the reptile very vividly, so I told a teacher I couldn’t go there anymore because of that and apparently nobody else could see it. They said I was a liar, made fun of me and severly punished me for the rest of the day. Could we only be living in the same world? Were we just different species? That day I understood I had to shut my mouth. That saying the truth could be dangerous. Others didn’t always want to see, didn’t want to know. They lived in a pre-constructed bubble world of blindness.

Then came the age when my body started to change. I was about nine years old and I was almost fully developed. I was also a lot taller than others and people used to mistaken me for a teenager, so I looked completely stunted with my child-like attitude. Of course, I was only nine. I felt as if the world punished me by stealing my childhood, which was actually happening. So at the age ten, I went through a painful existential depression that lasted for an entire year. I literally wanted to die. I didn’t see the meaning of life and felt trapped in an unfair world of suffering. I didn’t go to school that year. Apparently, I was talking about things I never heard or talked about. There was this ” twin” I could communicate with in distance that I knew for a very long time and I began to see a purple line that followed me everywhere. That was a VERY weird episode of my life. Even more than it is right now.

The next year, after my recovery – which wasn’t really a recovery I would say – I returned to school. I lost an entire year so I found myself in a class full of people that were a year younger than me. That wasn’t a very pleasent situation , but I did some good friends and completely forgot about what happened in the past.

In my teenage years I became totally ” normal”, or I guess that’s what I desperately tried to be. But  then people started to go the gym, night clubs ( for teenagers ), smoke cigarettes and drink alcohol which I didn’t like. I felt like an extraterrestial again, totally apart from others, even if I remained strong and loyal to myself, I suffered a lot from being classified as ” borring”, “speechless” or “prude”.

At 17, a week after my birthday, my father suddenly died from a prostate cancer. Only three weeks passed between my dad told us she felt he has a very bad ” cold” until the day of his death. All happened very quickly and I wasn’t really able to feel any pain, which would make me feel horrible. I didn’t really have a close relationship with him, but I loved my dad as he was part of myself.

After his death, I decided to move to France to be more in contact with the part of him that was in me.  So I pursued my studies in a private Art school in Paris where I had a Master degree in graphic design and  illustration for children. I lived there for six years.

The last three years, my boyfriend with whom I was living, convinced me to model to earn some easy money, and so I did, certainly to please him, but also to gain some more confidence. I started travelling a lot, having money and forgot about my art and genuine Self.I became obsessed with my appearence and suffered for being with someone that didn’t really love me for who I really was. I began to develop trust issues and getting tired of live again. There was only one thing I never did to please others: alcohol, cigarettes, drugs, parties, night clubs,sport, casual sex…

I don’t know why I’ve allways been a very sleepy, soul tired person…

The last year I obtained my American model working visa with a good agency in NY, but then the volcano suddenly erupted and here I am, back with my mom, in Barcelona where I was born, doing art and connecting with authentic people.


A volcano in eruption!

For some reason, it seems like the new energies in my body produce annoying symptoms similar to those from a volcanic activity. Skin eruptions were the first akward manifestation as rashes, bumps and acne which doesn’t respond to any treatment and can last for a while… It could be the healing of an episode of my past and may be sloughing off toxins and bringing emotions to the surface. When there is an issue to be released and one try to repress it, the skin will express the issue until we process the emotions. ( Can’t forget to mention my huge menstrual disorders as well  which could also be related to this problem – I might not be paying attention enough or receiving energy in the reproductive organs since my sexuality is totally unactive-)

I’ve also been experiencing energy and creativity bursts like feeling waves or currents of energy rolling through my body, a “vibration” or ” bubbles moving through my heart area, a flu-like symptom for 3months and a half ( which was really annoying), involuntary bodily movements, feeling a “heat” entering my feet ( that was a little painful and was probably a deep healing of a certain area of my body), electric charge and discharge ( which could be extremely overwhelming or very exhausting in the case of a prolonged discharge),receiving images, flashes of light, music, messages and inspirational thoughts and finally intense and sudden sexual desire with almost spontaneous orgasms also accompanied with powerful electrical charge.

Nausea was often experienced by certain periods of exhaustion and tiredness as well.Image