Feeling unworthy?

We all have a different way to experience reality, we all have a different perspective on life, we are all living in a different scenario. All of our different ‘truths’ and points of view are right. That’s diversity. There is no ‘truth’. Everyone is right from his/her own point of view. Everyone has a ‘different’ reality, we all grew up in different conditions/ with different education/people/genetics/environment etc… There isn’t a sigle ‘truth’ about anything and that’s what’s so amazing  about life. We all have different – and at times opposite – lessons to learn in this lifetime, we all have different paths and they are all right. They are right for each particular person for each particular moment or situation. Why should we turn into clones? Being unique, does not make us special and gifted? We can all give something to the world anyone else can give, we are all small pieces of a big puzzle. Competition appears when people try to interfere/copy/try to be like other people/try to have other people’s gifts. We don’t need to compete at all. We can all help each other’s works/lives with our own uniqueness ( and there are often very subtil differences between our gifts, but that subtil difference is crucial and needs to be recognized for what it is).

When people tell other people that they are not good enough or they won’t be able to accomplish certain things, they are just expressing their own feeling of failure. It’s just the way they see life through their own lenses/behaviours. The difficulty comes when you try to date that particular person with his/her own particular needs or to apply to that particular job which requires those particular abilities etc…But how is it that you give them so much power on you? Why do you give them the power to make you feel unworthy, like you have to be more detail oriented or just faster or more cultivated, sociable, funny, smart, attractive- for the actual social stereotype- etc… Why aren’t we attracting the people who loves us just the wa we are? Aren’t we worthy enough? I think the problem is that we dont feel worthy. We need to learn how to love ourselves first and stop judging ourselves, because if we continue thinking that way, we will just attractthe people and situations that mirrors and confirm that state of mind: not being worthy. The universe is perfect and precise.

So how to feel more confident? You just have to stay still for a moment an feel your inner self, look for what makes you happy and do it – no matter how stupid, weird or crazy you feel about it, it is your own true happiness we are talking about-

Surround yourself with positive people that brings you up and stop trying to become someone you are not. And because everyone is different, you will never be able to please everyone anyway, so at least you can try to be exactely who you really are. That way, when someone connects with you, you can be sure that this connection is genuine and true. No more deceptions because you are not wearing any mask to cover up any ‘ imperfections’ if they only truly ever existed in you. Maybe those so called imperfections – for you-  are the ‘thing’ that will make someone else fall in love with you.

Make yourself happy. Be as weird as you are. We need people exactely like you to complete our big puzzle and every single little piece of the puzzle fit with every other piece of that same big oneness – or puzzle-

Being who I am is enough for me to think and feel I am worthy to be, worthy to be loved and to be Love. Achieving authenticity is achieving one of the biggest goals in life, it is Love, Love for yourself, unconditional Love for who you are, just the way you really are right now, without having to change anything. Don’t become lazy, don’t loose this battle. I want this society to be a happy, harmonious, peaceful, loving, healthy, positive society. Take the example of Steve Jobs: he is so crazy and so weird, but his crazyness allowed himself to create such a thing as apple. Steve Jobs had what we call ‘ reality distortion field’ or ‘ reality distortion mind’ which means he didn’t ‘ read reality’ as most people does, and that’s exactely how he was able to create new things, from a different perspective.

Can you imagine for a second what it would be to live in a society of clones? Everybody would have the exact same vision of life, the exact same gifts, and that life is not with living in my opinion. Love you weirdness, love and be aware of how unique and gifted you are. Stop trying to be like other people or trying to change other people into who you think you are. Just be. And smile 🙂


Modern times: the “love object”

“The attitude that there is nothing to learn about love is the assumption that the problem of love is the problem of an object, not the problem of a faculty. People think that to love is simple, but that to find the right object to love – or to be loved by – is difficult. This attitude that several reasons rooted in the development of modern society. One reason is the great change which ocurred in the twentieth century with respect to the choice of a love object. In the Victorian Age, as in many traditional cultures, love was mostly not a spontaneous personal experience which then might lead to marriage. On the contrary, marriage was contracted by convention – either by the respective families, or by a marriage broker, or without the help of such intermediaries; it was concluded on the basis of social considerations, and love was supposed to develop once the marriage had been concluded. In the last few generations the concept of romantic love has become almost universal in the Western world. In the United States, while considerations of a conventional nature are not entirely absent, to a vast extent people are in search of “romantic love”, of the personal experience of love which then should lead to marriage. Thisnew concept of freedom in love must have greatly enhanced the importance of the object as against the importance of the function.

Closely related to this factor is another feature characteristic of contemporary culture. Our whole culture is based on the appetite for buying, on the idea of a mutually favourable exchange. Modern man’s happiness consists in the thrill of looking at the shop windows, and in buying all that he can afford to buy either for cash or on instalments. He ( or she) looks at people in a similar way. For the man an attractive girl – and for the woman an attractive man- are the prizes they are after. “Attractive” usually means a nice package of qualities which are popular and sought after on the personality market. What specifically makes a person attractive depends on the fashion of the time, physically as well as mentally. During the twenties, a drinking and smoking girl, tough and sexy, was attractive; today the fashion demands more domesticity and coyness. At the end of the nineteenth and the beginning of this century, a man had to be aggressive and ambitious -todayhe has to be social and tolerant- in order to be an attractive “package”.

Erich Fromm- The Art of Loving